And with Austin this year here:

Friends, never let it be said that I am too full of myself to hide the less than attractive photos of myself...it's what keeps me real and in touch with the people.

Anyway, read the other post if you want to know exactly WHY I didn't leave Chattanooga as planned on Wednesday. No, here it is Saturday--NINE frigging days after I left home for a 4.5 day jaunt, and I'm preparing to leave. You can imagine how thrilled W. is with me a this point. He's a good egg no matter how much I bitch about him. Frankly, no matter how much he's complained about me being gone, I think he and Five have actually probably enjoyed having the sty, er house to themselves for the whole week plus.

Since Sarah left, I've had lots of free time. I could have gone out w/ a friend on Thursday night, but I just didn't feel like it. Everyone that I know had to do mundane things such as work or spend time with family, so I had lots of solitude. I went to see Sex and the City. I ate at Panera a lot. I stayed up faaaaar too much (last night was freakish and I went to sleep at SIX a.m.) and watched all sorts of my favorite cable rerun shows, Top Chef, and Regis and Kelly. Good times, but pretty damn boring after awhile.

I miss having something to actually DO. This is a clear sign that the Wellbutrin is kicking in, I think. So, I'm heading home in just a few--meeting the parents in Murfreesboro to pick up my kids on their way home from their trip to Wyoming because I don't want to wait for them to drive all the way here and then leave. I'm that ready to just be home. Weird, but true.

I will update here more often, but if I disappear other places, you understand why. I have summer school for two weeks and many, many weeks worth of housework to deal with. Plus, I have to begin my holy-shit-I'm-almost-40 workout regimine so that I don't cry when I see pictures of the unfortunate event. To quote a smart lady, "Be safe!"

Labels: announcements, domestic stuff, good times, mr kim, my life, pictures, travel

Then read about MY day yesterday--Thursday, June 4, which is evidently the day of Satan.
After staying up waaaay too late, I got up at 4 to get sarah and the girls off to Calgary. She stayed here with me because it's closer to the airport (I'm in Hixon at my parents' house). I went out to check my van because we were afraid that a light had been left on last night--it had not, but I left the keys in it like a dumbass. turned to the kill-the-battery-position and then left them there for close to an hour.

We get outside with the girls to leave and my fucking van wouldn't start. Igo tearing around the house and get dad's Jeep keys, start the jeep--thinking that surely he has jumper cables or we can drive it if we have to. I can't get the back doors unlocked for some reason, so i get out--with it running--and shut the door. as SOON as I shut it, I realised that I had locked it. so now the Jeep is running with the keys locked in it AND the van won't start. Sarah is starting to panic and the girls are getting freaked.

I had to call Daddy and wake him up---3.55 a.m. mountain time. He told me where to find more jeep keys AND that he doesn't have jumper cables here, so I can't jump it off. there are no backseats in the Jeep and it is loaded with tools and stuff. Well, if you know my parents, then you know that means there is only one vehicle left to choose from (techincally, there are three, but the VW Thing isn't running and there's no way in hell I'd drive the 64 1/2 Mustang....that leaves the 15 passenger white Dodge van affectionately known 'round these parts as Big Ugly. It's a leftover from my parents' antique show hauling days and they still use it for camping. I have never driven it before--for good reason.

Sarah and I unloaded her four lead-filled suitcases, along with the biggest jogging stroller on the planet, all the kids' stuff and piled into Big Ugly, which I then proceeded to drive to the airport. My parents' driveway isn't long, but it's got a weird curve, so I always turn around and drive out 'normal' in my own car. Given my luck of the day, I wasn't about to chance turning around--I'm sure I would have hit my van, the house or backed off the edge of the driveway, so with Sarah hanging out one door and me the other, I successfully made it out fhe drive in reverse.Yay for me! Once we got out of the driveway, it was a piece of cake, but my nerves were shot. Got to the airport in plenty of time.

I returned home. Tried my van...it started. I was like, WTF?, but glad that I wouldn't have to bother anyone. Oh, silly Kim, if you'd only known.

I went back in and cleaned up, washed the sheets that we'd used, showered, dressed, packed, etc. Around 10.45 or so I went out and tried the car again--it started. Then, like a complete Simpleton, I turned off the van, plugged my cell phone into the car charger and left the motherfucking side door open. Didn't even cross my feeble mind that I should have left it running.

You can guess what happened next---the damn thing was deader than hell when I went back out. I gave it an hour. Still nothing, so I had to call Aunt Barbara to come jump me off. Bless her heart, she came right over and we managed to get it running. Whew. Off to home.

Or not.

After driving all around southeastern Tennessee, the Check Transmission message started blinking at me and my overdrive light began to flash as I drove down Amnicola Highway. Even a mechanical ignoramous such as myself knew that this was bad. I found a place to pull over, called W. in a panic. He said to check the trans. fluid and add some. (Sidenote--my van had been driving oddly all weekend, but I didn't really put it all together at the time). I made it to a Conoco, which didn't carry the fluid, but I checked my level there and I was almost totally out. Yikes.

Drove a little bit further, praying all the way that the transmission wouldn't just lock up on me. Made it to a Chevron. Bless the lovely man who worked there. He called me "Sunshine" and helped me put the fluid in, check everything. I felt confident that the worst was behind me.

I? am notorious for being inept at judging the future and this? was another example.

I start driving down Amnicola again and get to almost the same exact spot and the frigging transmission light comes on. Fuck me. I managed to pull over and drive up a block or so to an empty parking lot...this involved going up a hill and I wasn't entirely sure I was even going to make it, but I did. I got out and checked. Damn fluid was empty. I looked under the van for the obvious and yes, there where even I, Kim the Automotive Moron, could see it was transmission fluid flowing freely out and making an impressive puddle on the pavement. The black asphalt pavement. The black asphalt pavement that was super heated because it was about 95 degrees outside and there wasn't a lick of shade.

More panicked calls. Clearly I wasn't going anywhere in the van. I'm smart like that. After much, much cursing and such, I had to call Aunt Barbara yet again to come get me. As I waited for her, I got hotter and hotter. I swear I have never sweated so much in my whole entire life. I had sweat rolling down the backs of my legs. Nasty.

To make this incredibly long story a little shorter, I will spare you the details about trying to figure out where to take my car. I knew that the Ford dealership was my last resort because those folks are slow as Christmas and dumber than shit. After calling like a million people that live in and around Chatanooga, friend from high school, David Poe, found me a place to take it, but they didn't advertise transmission work. I was going to call them and see what they suggested, but then my dad remembered that the name of the place where he had the Mustang worked on is called Mr. Transmission. Needless to say, my search for a mechanic was over.

So here I sit in my parents' house with pretty much nothing to do. Car was towed today to Soddy Daisy and will hopefully be repaired cheaply and quickly. I'm just going to stay here until the weekend when the kids get back from their trip out West with Mom and Dad. And I'll probably be driving the Jeep home, which makes my back and knee hurt just thinking about it--stick shift, no frills, three hour trip. Ugh.

I have been to Walgreens and bought mascara and lipstick because they were on sale. Had a prescription for Tramadol transferred here so I won't be forced to go seek out drug dealers w/ Percocet or Demerol downtown. I'm going to ice and heat my back and just listen to the silence for a couple of days. And try not to go bonkers in the process.

So unless you ate accidentally live slug for breakfast or you peed yourself in public yesterday, consider your day much better than mine.

Labels: dumb shit I do, my life, pictures, ramble, rant, travel

things i enjoy:

1. bananas
2. whole wheat baguettey french bread from kroger
3. max factor volume couture mascara in soft black or auburn
4. cheese
5. flip flops
6. laminating
7. sharp scissors
8. cheap bottled water from aldi
9. maroon 5
10. muscle sculpting classes at the Y
11. digital cameras
12. pedicures
13. cinnamon graham crackers
14. short hair
15. hot tubs
16. boats
17. banana boat sunscreen spray
18. ipod
19. dvr'd top chef and the closer
20. a well written sentence
21. london and new york
22. hair straightening products and utensils
23. myspace surveys
24. stila tinted moisturizer
25. cold zin
26. lavendar and maroon
27. blogs
28. freshmen
29. wedge sandals
30. grilled chicken

things i hate:

1. sweating in the car
2. leg cramps
3. yaz birth control pills
4. protein shakes
5. squash
6. putting away laundry
7. torturous undies
8. shaving my legs
9. 'pro' wrestling
10. senior girls with attitude
11. smelly middle schoolers
12. frigging legos
13. step aerobics
14. bad local commercials
15. morons on message boards
16. spammers on myspace
17. balancing my checking accounts
18. being late
19. being so far away from friends
20. dog hair
21. spider veins
22. hangnails
23. woody allen movies
24. road contruction
25. drunken neighbors
26. cartoons
27. arm fat
28. run on sentences
29. holy rollers
30. getting old

Labels: English, fashion, food, getting old, imaginary friends, inebriation, makeup, meme, physical exertion, ramble, stupid normal people, television, travel, who doesn't love a list

i'm in absolute slug mode, which is condition normal, i have to admit. my house? a fricking wreck. my classroom? oy. it needs a separate post, but it was rained in again yesterday and i've got a pile of stuff to deal with. my van? must be cleaned.

and here i am, sitting on the couch, blogging.

i'm leaving for chattanooga/japser tomorrow right after work. i am spending two nights away from home. sam is going to spend the night with sil. this means clothing and such should be packed into some sort of recepticals. nothing is, of course. in fact, the gym bag i took with me last weekend? has yet to be unpacked.

i don't want to actually DO anything. must snap out of it--have lovely, visit with old friends, hang with my mom and aunt plans for wednesday-friday, but i'm guessing that wearing the same clothes all three days and not putting on any makeup or deodorant would probably mar those experiences somewhat.

am off. to pack. seriously. has to be done. am on it. right now. in a minute. just need to check my email......

Labels: my life, ramble, travel

I'm home from London--great trip, btw. I'll update that later over there, but do have one tidbit to share here. One of my favorite little chains to grab a sandwich, Eat, will heat sandwiches for you. You order, ask for your stuff heated and then they write your name on your bag and call you when it's ready.

The cashier asked me my name, and I said, "Kim." She was Asian and spoke with a fairly strong accent and looked at me a bit confused. I repeated, "Kim". She looked at me for a second or so, then nodded and wrote my name on the bag and fixed the sandwich (ham and cheese with mustard on ciabatta...yum yum, but don't eat it cold because it sucks that way). When the food was ready, I took my bag and went to sit down. It wasn't until I was pulling the food out that I saw how my name was spelled and laughed out loud. Muchly. My name as interpreted phonetically by the server? Kiam. Methinks perhaps I have more of an accent than I think.

Labels: travel

I'm not really sure about clothing these days--I've had trouble finding stuff that I like and that doesn't look as if it were made for a teenager, so I'm much more aware of clothes lately than I had been in the past. So, here in London, it's been rather amusing to see the fashion choices that people make. I know that London is supposed to be on the cutting edge of fashion and trends and about two years ahead of the U.S. in that regard, but honestly, I fail to see anything that great here. I'm going to try to check out TopShop and H&M to look around, but the stuff on the streets has by and large been heinous.

Naturally, since it is London, there are a fair amount of tourists, so I do try to keep their unfortunate appearances from clouding my opinion of Londoners. Some of the more, um, special, tourist moments thus far:

1. a woman who had to be at least my age, maybe older, wearing a wee denim mini--a good six inches above her knee--with leggings. If you are old enough to have worn leggings the first time, then you are too old to be wearing them this time, at least with a mini-skirt, however I could have even forgiven her that had she not been wearing that mini-skirt in about a size 18 or so, which made it look like she had a giant denim box wrapped around her body and, far worse, she had on a very form-fitting tee (I hesitate to say baby tee because I think this one was just a regular tee stretched to the limit) that was one.inch.too.short. There was visible fat roll peeking out from the top of the skirt--actually protruding is more like it. It was just horrid.

2. Loads upon loads of white boots. I think every European in the UK is wearing some form of atrocious white ankle (or just a bit higher) boots.

3. a backless halter with a skirty bottom on another person over the age of 20 and over 140 pounds.

4. fishnets with some sort of patterned hose under them. I thought it was leg hair at first.

5. shiny things. Lots of silver belts, gold hairclips, and other accessories all with fake shiny finishes.

We're headed to Covent Garden today, so there should be a boatload of other fashion crimes to witness.

Labels: travel

I'm not even close to being ready to go to London in about ten days--I'm a loser--BUT, I did dust off my London blog and post something, so the pre-trip festivities can begin. It's over at Kim in London. I guess I could move that to my own server. Maybe after I take a nap. Spring Break has officially started and I think I need to take a little rest.

SPRING BREAK MAKES ME VERY, VERY, VERY HAPPY!

Labels: bloggish, celebration, travel